Meet Sam Baker

Photo by: Chrislyn Lawrence

Meet Sam Baker

This man inspired me to keep going after my wreck. At the age of 31 he survived a Peruvian terrorist bombing that resulted damages to his left hand and brain. He plays left-handed guitar, sings with a rhythm that keeps his mind moving through his writing, and it’s my dream to open for him one day. His album “Say Grace” is Rolling Stone’s 5th best Country Album of the Year. 

Interview and “Peace Is Well”

I student at MTSU interviewed me for his project!

two months ago: in the year of letting go

In November I wrote a post about the beginning of things changing for my life and the reason why you haven’t heard from me since is because my life has been a whirlwind of dreams coming true.

Two months ago today, I released my first recording project entitled “In the Year of Letting Go.” I played all of the guitar parts on this record and I am unhealthfully proud of it.

I don’t know if anyone still follows this blog — originally my wreck recovery blog, this blog currently stands as a place to document my progress with guitar and the ups and downs of it all. Fortunately, my accident no longer plagues my life, and my impairment is not the spotlight of my existence, but I intend to continue posting here — tunings I’ve found and love, techniques I’m struggling with (here’s a brand new one…slide), how much I need to practice more often…Oh my.

Anyway, the EP! Check out the following links if you are interested in the story and the people involved in the project, the songs & concept of the EP, and what I learned from putting it together.

And if you’re still here and reading, thank you. What an amazing journey we’ve had together.

finally.

it was incredible playing for an audience tonight. it has been far too long and it was really good for me.

Playing left-handed at my first show since the wreck.

my performance was far from perfect, but i’m pretty sure i played in tune and i bared a little bit of my soul. that’s what matters right? and i learned so much from the performance…but really. i’m performing again. one word: bliss!

i alternated between playing left-handed and right-handed. one song is right-handed because my finger picking is much stronger coming from five fingers and honestly, playing right-handed is far more familiar and sounds better. i don’t think i’ve mentioned this yet on the blog, but i’ve been playing right-handed with a cut-capo system. it’s basically instant open tuning, which allows me to fret most chords with two fingers.

the show went really well. stay tuned for the video project! it is finished! i’m just waiting to get the finalized product online and it will be yours!! here’s a picture from tonight to tide you over.

saturday: first public show!

great news.

i’m playing my first public show since the wreck this saturday, november 13th, at ugly mugs in east nashville. it’s mosaic’s writer’s in the round show. (fun fact: my first nashville show was this exact same setting back in april of 2009…and i haven’t played a show here in town since.) i couldn’t be more thrilled to share the night with artists, jenny ray and duo, handsome and gretel. so if you’re interested the show will be at 7:00 at ugly mugs.

how do i feel about my first public show since the wreck? victorious! and a little scared. haha! i will be playing all originals, and there is sure to be a little soul bearing. i love performing and it has been far too long since i’ve been able to sit behind a guitar and play my work. i suppose the most intimidating aspect about next saturday is my ability to play…but i know that audiences are forgiving and if i drop my pick or play some muted strings, the show will go on. i’ve learned that the best way to get better at playing for others is to play for others and learn from experience. see you saturday?

more big news!

after the show next weekend, i will be premiering a really exciting project online. i’m applying for a scholarship for musicians with disabilities and i needed to submit recordings of live representations of my music. soon after the show next weekend, a video will be online youtube/here/everywhere of me playing a new song. look for the big premiere post here!! stay tuned!

a year ago today.

can i tell you a story?

it’s a pretty good story.

a year ago today, i was in a car accident that resulted in the loss of two fingers on my left hand. (this of course is not the good part of the story, but all good stories must have some sort of conflict.) a year ago today, i was running late and got in my van and crossed a busy street. a year ago today, i didn’t see him coming. a year ago today i found myself being carried out of a broken car window. a year ago today i was waiting for an ambulance on a curb shouting out to God.

this was thursday, september 17th, 2009 around 6pm, around 15th and wedgewood.

yesterday, thursday around 2:30, i was dancing in my room trying to loosen up after i accidentally locked myself out of my apartment while taking out the trash. me, being the athletic champion that i am, fell on my left arm, spraining my elbow. i had to go to class, but about an hour later, i could no longer straighten my arm or bend it very far due to swelling. my pain level was pretty high, and everything was feeling pretty ironic. i was worried that i had fractured something, because i’ve never broken a bone, and around 6:00, i found myself contemplating the E.R.

now you can imagine why this might be a problem for me. (by the way, it is extremely ridiculous that this happened to me, and it’s okay to laugh!) but at the time, it wasn’t feeling very funny. amazingly enough, someone from belmont’s athletic training center was available to check out my arm. after finding the center, there just so happened to be a doctor from vanderbilt hospital in the office at belmont. this doctor also happened to know my wonderful surgeon. after examining my arm, he confirmed that i had only sprained it, and now i’m on ice and anti-inflamitories.

so the moral of this story?

well, me being me, i fell on my left arm on the eve of my wreck anniversary. God took the opportunity to remind me, “hey, remember how you are weak and I am strong?” then i was able to avoid the E.R. “hey kristen? remember how I provide for you?”

after twelve months, it can be really easy to forget what it is like to be physically in need, but that was a good portion of my year. so many of my loved ones encouraged me to look on this day with celebration. it is good to remember how far i’ve come.

i’ve waited for this day all year, and it has been quite a year. it has been amazing to see how the events of this past year are lining up in different ways this week. i can say that i am relieved, and extremely thankful. i am overwhelmed by the support, love, and prayers that have been showered in my direction. you all mean so much to me, and even if we do not know each other, thank you for the honor of having you read my story. stick around! i have a feeling that God is only getting warmed up.

september.

well…it’s september. in just over a couple of weeks i will have completed my first year since the wreck. my heart is filled with two very different emotions. one, dread. it has been interesting to be back at belmont for a fall semester. fall semesters are far different from spring semesters. everything is new and there is so much to adjust to. it’s very easy to get wrapped up in the idea of “a year,” but most of all, i fear how i will feel on that day.

last year, around this time, i had this Holy Spirit kind of feeling in my gut like my life was about to change drastically. i felt like i was on an edge and that everything was about to tip into motion. one could argue instead that the motion of my life came to a halt. in so many ways, it did. within the months following my wreck, i learned so much about the importance of rest (however, i still have much more to learn). really though, i think my life just took on a different pace, and maybe a ninety degree turn. God has been teaching me so much over the last twelve months and i know it’s only the beginning.

which brings me to my second emotion: relief. i am so ready to have made it through the first year. someone asked me once if my current state of being with eight fingers was a touchy subject. the answer? absolutely not. this is my reality now. it’s not like a bad breakup that i would prefer not to mention until i’m in a new relationship. getting through the first year is a relief because i can begin to dwell in life outside of the first year of healing.

i have wonderful news to report. when i left for school last january, i measured my grip strength to be around a 24 in my left hand (remember, it was initially a 4?) with my right hand around a 60. i went into the physical therapy office right before i moved back to nashville and my new left hand grip is a 37 with my right hand getting even stronger at a 79. my left hand is now over half the strength of my original right hand grip, and i think my right hand is getting stronger from playing left-handed guitar (which is getting a lot better). overall, everything is getting better. i’m writing again, piano seems to be opening up new creative opportunities, and my degree is taking some exciting turns at belmont this semester. please pray for me as the 17th draws closer. thanks for all the support this past year. more to come!

nine months.

today marks nine months since the accident. i know i haven’t written in two months. i’m going to do what i usually do and blame it on homework. although, i am happy to report that i am six days away from being completely done with summer school! this means that i am home in indiana again. i am taking six credit hours at the local community college which will help me to keep a more sane level of course work when i go back to nashville in the fall. to clarify, i am not taking summer school so that i can “graduate on time.” the semester off last fall will have me graduating in december of 2012 instead of may, but that is within four years of schooling.

it is so good to be home. i am completely devoting this summer to relearning guitar and making music. i have been picking up the guitar more than ever now that i have more time on my hands, and i am starting to get more familiar with my old tricks. i am even writing a little bit more, which is extremely exciting. i have really struggled with the pressure of writing over the past nine months, but i am starting to learn how to let go of that. at first, i really struggled to write because i was afraid of having to write amazing, gut wrenching, post car accident songs. those may come, but i’ve learned that writing is a creative process that isn’t meant to be pushed into a mold. also, i had a lot of baggage with learning to write without my guitar skills as a firm foundation. before, i wrote within the limits of my guitar (which is a horrible place to be, even before a double digit amputation); and now, i’m learning to write without that limit. it is a much freer and a much more terrifying place to be as a writer, but i am anxious to see what songs may come of it.

being as it is nine months since the accident, i wanted to do something special, so i’ve included a photo of me playing left handed. sometime in the future, i’d like to do a video, but this should do for now. as you may be able to see, there is a little contraption clipped to the bottom of the sound hole.

just earlier this week, my dad fashioned a sort of saddle for my left hand to rest in. my dad is a genius. i was telling him that i was having trouble stabilizing my left hand for finger picking because i used my pinky against the frame of the guitar when i was playing right handed. it is difficult to see in the picture, but he essentially made me a device to stabilize my hand over the strings. i just started working with it earlier this week, so everything is really new. i will keep the blog updated to see how i progress with it. right now, it works great; however, my left hand doesn’t. so it will definitely take some practice.

as far as everything else goes…i’m doing pretty good. God has blessed me with the greatest family and friends anyone could ask for (yes, this means you!), and my PTSD isn’t as acute as it was earlier this year. i still get the occasional bad day, but God has taught me so much in this journey, and i am so blessed! i promise to update this blog FREQUENTLY this summer. once summer school is over (6 DAYS!) i will be nonstop music. i love you all, and thank you for all your support and prayers these past nine months!

holding tight and letting go.

i’m officially done with physical therapy today! i am thrilled with the progress i’ve made. my hand has improved tenfold since i started back at the end of october. i mastered the dreaded black clothespins, the heaviest weight. and i am especially proud to say i met my grip strength goal today! my initial grip strength in my left hand was a four, while my right hand was around a sixty. my therapist said our goal would be twenty. i was thrilled the day i met the strength of ten, but today, my grip strength was twenty-four. my left hand is at least one-third the power of my right, and that is a huge comfort. when i think back to where i was, this is the sweetest of victories. of course, my therapy does not really end. everyday is a new challenge for my hand, and my hand is meeting it. a good friend asked me the other day what my biggest limitation is at this point (aside from guitar and piano). i answered my grip strength, and even that isn’t so bad anymore.

of course, this is not the entire picture of the challenges ahead. i leave for school on the tenth and i have no idea what God has in store for me this year. i do know that i’m pretty much open to anything now. my life is God’s. that’s one thing i’ve definitely taken away from all of this. pray for me with this semester coming up. i’m a little anxious about it still, but i’m also eager for a change of pace. there are a lot of unknowns ahead, but i do know that God is my life now. happy 2010 everyone!

three months.

my accident happened three months ago yesterday. obviously since the last entry is entitled “two months,” i haven’t written in a while. somehow i’ve been relatively busy. i was fortunate enough to still have the opportunity to sing in “christmas at belmont,” so i journeyed down to nashville to sing the music i had been learning from home with my peers. it’s a massive event, if you’ve never experienced it. i highly suggest you turn your TVs to PBS on the evening of the 23rd (check your local listings for the time). i’ve included a little sampler HERE — my group, session, singing with our wonderful host, trisha yearwood! 🙂

this past month has been a little bit more directed toward sliding into normalcy. i’m now typing with two hands and learning how to do it better. allowing myself to go out in public without any sort of glove on, unless i’m cold. haha! gripping “paper thin” picks and building up some strength strumming my left-handed guitar. i french-braided my hair for the first time a couple of days ago! and other exciting victories that allow my left hand some independence.

i recently purchased rob bell’s new book “drops like stars.” i highly recommend picking it up. it’s about suffering and creativity — something extremely relevant in my life right now. i’ve been painting a lot. it’s very calming and relaxing for me and it helps me creatively express myself in a time where guitar cannot as easily fill that need. you may have noticed the new banner above, it’s one of my watercolor paintings. it’s good to still feel like an artist. God is healing me with the endless possibilities in creativity.