Five Years

September 18, 2014

I feel differently every year on the anniversary of my accident. This year I’m incredibly moved by how much my life has changed since that day. (I even had a Myspace page when this blog was created.) I wish I could say the lessons I learned in the early stages of my healing come just as easily to me now. There’s something nostalgic about those early days when I could do nothing but rest in God’s presence. When life is in full swing, this practice is quickly forgotten. Since the accident, my perfectionism has fully developed in to a raging beast, careful to out-plan anything that could go wrong. I’m now the event manager for Nashville’s Greatest Lawn Party, so this characteristic does not serve me well. I’m working on rolling with life’s punches and being a lot kinder to myself. This kind of behavior is necessary on a day like today.

Event Management at Musicians Corner

It’s strange now that I have reached five years of having 8 fingers. When it was only four years, that day felt painfully close. Now that I am five years in, I feel more concerned with the journey portion of my story. As far as ability goes, I couldn’t be more thrilled. I can type, lift, squeeze, snap, grip, pinch, pull, etc. I have a job that I love, and it requires me to be strong with loading event materials. I even play guitar when I’m not afraid of being less than perfect, and I’m sharing my music when I can.

Summer Gig in Nashville

The biggest struggle right now is figuring out how much my music is a part of my life. It’s difficult to be in Nashville and reconcile the economics of doing music, and I also think a part of me got burnt out after I graduated with a music degree in 2012. I’m just not sure the rock star life is the life for me. But something keeps pulling me back to my guitar, and every now and again inspiration strikes and I write a song I’m very proud of. I want to fall in love with my art again. I want to show up, pick up my guitar, and see what happens. I’m still fully convinced that God is refining me in this process of relearning guitar. I still hate playing left-handed most of the time, and I haven’t felt incredibly inspired with right-handed lately; however, I will not quit. No matter what, music is a part of me. Besides, I’m only five years in since the wreck, and I cannot anticipate where my life will lead. I can only show up and reach up. I just hope I have the courage to do so.

On a lighter note, I won the VSA Tennessee Young Soloist Award earlier this year. VSA is an organization that supports the arts for young people with disabilities. I am so proud to be representing VSA Tennessee this year! Learn more about what they do here.

VSA Young Soloists

Thank you to everyone who remembered my anniversary today. And thank you to my friends, who have supported me and prayed for me all this time. I love you all.