I student at MTSU interviewed me for his project!

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life update!

June 11, 2013

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Hello Everyone! I’m still alive and well! I graduated from Belmont this past December and I’m currently working full time for a concert series in Nashville. I love my job, and I’m actively working on new songs and left-handed guitar. I have high hopes for lots of exciting music in the future. Stay tuned!

my brother ben.

July 7, 2012

I’ve recently started going to a ballroom dance class. My first time I was a little nervous because of all the hand holding with complete strangers. It’s interesting seeing who notices, who doesn’t, and who needs a few double-takes. But I love dancing, so I decided not to care and just be myself. 

Tonight I had the honor of meeting my new friend, Ben. Ben was in a farm machinery accident around age 5 and lost his left arm. He leads his wife around the dance floor like a pro. I introduced myself and we swapped stories. You don’t have to fill in the blanks when you’re family. You already know. So I said, “I play guitar.” Ben looked right at me and said, “You have everything you need.” 

Ben kissed both of my cheeks at the end of the dance party and I will never forget him. 

two years ago today.

September 17, 2011

there are so many things i want to tell you.

first, is that i intentionally did not want to anticipate this day with dread.
there are so many people who are chained to a day. or a season. or a feeling.
and so i had options. i could dread the anniversary of my wreck. i could put it out of my mind. or i could try to live a life of joy and come upon the day hoping not to find shackles on my heart.
i chose the latter.

so i came upon the week leading up to the anniversary without any consequence. aware of how much had changed this year and how much i remember from the past two years when fall comes. fall had always been my favorite of the seasons, and now, it is easy to let my mood change with the weather. it’s easier to occupy oneself with other thoughts when it is warm outside.

but i’ve been determined to bring about a new season with the fall, to redefine a time. and please don’t misunderstand, i’ve been doing really well. in fact, i’m very happy. i’ve been really working on my guitar, even left handed; and i’m getting so much better. i’m coming to realize how much God has in mind for me by relearning guitar. (more on this in the next post.) but God has taught me joy and i live and breathe in the challenge of it.

so i came upon the anniversary this week busy with my life. two days before i went on a walk with a good friend and we crossed the street to where the wreck took place. i’ve been back once before, but never by crossing the street. i could stand there and remember and i was fine. i’ve moved on. but yesterday was hard for a few hours.

i’m doing well today. and i am trying to understand why i was upset yesterday. it wasn’t the memories. it was remembering the journey and being on the journey.

i sometimes get overwhelmed by how much i want to do. how much i want to write, read, think, sing, dance, laugh. i want to learn, grow, work for my achievements, know people, explore new things, and love. i think one of the most important things that i’ve learned and i am still learning is to rejoice in sufferings.

how do we know joy on days like these?

if you find yourself dreading a day, i pray that you come to find joy. joy doesn’t always look like happiness, but i think the best way to describe it is trust. trust that there is something bigger than you. a God who is bigger than the moment you are in. trust requires letting go. i think it looks like acceptance. i think it feels like breathing. i think it moves in freedom. i pray for joy.

and i rejoice knowing that God knows my tomorrows.

loss unifies.

June 24, 2011

i met a fellow finger-amputee today in the bakery. i handed him his cookies and he said, “hey! you’re like me.” he showed me his missing ring finger and we talked for a moment like it was the most casual thing in the world. i wish there hadn’t been a line. we only had the opportunity to exchange a few words. i wanted to talk to him for hours, as if he were my long lost uncle.

i think a lot of amputees would agree. we’re all bonded together even as strangers. loss unifies.