January 31, 2010

i know it’s been a really long time since i’ve written. i’ve been in classes for just over two weeks and the adjustment to living a new/old life has definitely kept me busy.

it’s difficult to describe how it feels to be back. i love being here. it’s good to be with all my friends and to have a life outside lazing around the house; however, there is something about the familiarity of the life that i’m living now that takes me back to those first three weeks last september. i’m taking some of the same classes, with the same professors, during the same hours. there are some new factors to this semester; but in all, i think i will feel better once i reach the forth week and i don’t find myself retracing old steps. reliving these first weeks has been a constant reminder of what happened, and that much has been really difficult.

however, i do feel like i am starting to get back into the swing of things. although i don’t think my body has fully recovered from waking up at seven every morning without nine hours of sleep to fuel me for the day, i am managing to get my homework done and make it from sunrise to sunset in one piece. (usually).

everything is still a huge adjustment. i am at a really odd place musically, spiritually, physically…i could go on. this next week starts the third being in classes. i’m looking forward to the fourth.

i’m officially done with physical therapy today! i am thrilled with the progress i’ve made. my hand has improved tenfold since i started back at the end of october. i mastered the dreaded black clothespins, the heaviest weight. and i am especially proud to say i met my grip strength goal today! my initial grip strength in my left hand was a four, while my right hand was around a sixty. my therapist said our goal would be twenty. i was thrilled the day i met the strength of ten, but today, my grip strength was twenty-four. my left hand is at least one-third the power of my right, and that is a huge comfort. when i think back to where i was, this is the sweetest of victories. of course, my therapy does not really end. everyday is a new challenge for my hand, and my hand is meeting it. a good friend asked me the other day what my biggest limitation is at this point (aside from guitar and piano). i answered my grip strength, and even that isn’t so bad anymore.

the dreaded black clothespins

of course, this is not the entire picture of the challenges ahead. i leave for school on the tenth and i have no idea what God has in store for me this year. i do know that i’m pretty much open to anything now. my life is God’s. that’s one thing i’ve definitely taken away from all of this. pray for me with this semester coming up. i’m a little anxious about it still, but i’m also eager for a change of pace. there are a lot of unknowns ahead, but i do know that God is my life now. happy 2010 everyone!