two years ago today.

September 17, 2011

there are so many things i want to tell you.

first, is that i intentionally did not want to anticipate this day with dread.
there are so many people who are chained to a day. or a season. or a feeling.
and so i had options. i could dread the anniversary of my wreck. i could put it out of my mind. or i could try to live a life of joy and come upon the day hoping not to find shackles on my heart.
i chose the latter.

so i came upon the week leading up to the anniversary without any consequence. aware of how much had changed this year and how much i remember from the past two years when fall comes. fall had always been my favorite of the seasons, and now, it is easy to let my mood change with the weather. it’s easier to occupy oneself with other thoughts when it is warm outside.

but i’ve been determined to bring about a new season with the fall, to redefine a time. and please don’t misunderstand, i’ve been doing really well. in fact, i’m very happy. i’ve been really working on my guitar, even left handed; and i’m getting so much better. i’m coming to realize how much God has in mind for me by relearning guitar. (more on this in the next post.) but God has taught me joy and i live and breathe in the challenge of it.

so i came upon the anniversary this week busy with my life. two days before i went on a walk with a good friend and we crossed the street to where the wreck took place. i’ve been back once before, but never by crossing the street. i could stand there and remember and i was fine. i’ve moved on. but yesterday was hard for a few hours.

i’m doing well today. and i am trying to understand why i was upset yesterday. it wasn’t the memories. it was remembering the journey and being on the journey.

i sometimes get overwhelmed by how much i want to do. how much i want to write, read, think, sing, dance, laugh. i want to learn, grow, work for my achievements, know people, explore new things, and love. i think one of the most important things that i’ve learned and i am still learning is to rejoice in sufferings.

how do we know joy on days like these?

if you find yourself dreading a day, i pray that you come to find joy. joy doesn’t always look like happiness, but i think the best way to describe it is trust. trust that there is something bigger than you. a God who is bigger than the moment you are in. trust requires letting go. i think it looks like acceptance. i think it feels like breathing. i think it moves in freedom. i pray for joy.

and i rejoice knowing that God knows my tomorrows.

love letter.

August 17, 2011

Love Letter, Written by Kristen Wright
Copyright 2011
Live at the Listening Room in Nashville TN
March 21, 2011

A sort of new song. 🙂

another story like mine.

August 12, 2011

occasionally wordpress gives me insight as to who is finding my blog. search engine results prove that there are some other finger amputees out there looking for a story like mine. i decided to do more digging today and found dj digs. a fellow “creativity-in-suffering” guitarist. check out his story.

loss unifies.

June 24, 2011

i met a fellow finger-amputee today in the bakery. i handed him his cookies and he said, “hey! you’re like me.” he showed me his missing ring finger and we talked for a moment like it was the most casual thing in the world. i wish there hadn’t been a line. we only had the opportunity to exchange a few words. i wanted to talk to him for hours, as if he were my long lost uncle.

i think a lot of amputees would agree. we’re all bonded together even as strangers. loss unifies.

i pray for joy.

May 10, 2011

great news.

i passed my piano proficiency exam at belmont! I can graduate…eventually! haha! but really, i am so happy to have accomplished this. turns out, it wasn’t as hard as i thought it would be. admittedly, they did edit parts of the exam to accommodate my impairment, but i also brought more to the table than they expected. so it turned out great! everest surmounted!

so update overall: i’m doing well. i’ve played three different shows around town this semester and i’ve written some really great songs that i love to play. i’ve made it through final exams and i’m home free for the summer!

i’ve made some recent decisions about my music. i’ve played “brave” a couple of times in public recently and i’ve decided that it may be time to move on. i don’t want to dwell on the accident anymore. i don’t want my music to always take me back to that time of suffering. i love “brave” and the songs i wrote after the accident, but i think there’s a difference between cherishing them and running them into the ground (along with my soul). i still intend to write songs from my heart, but i want to start writing with joy.

i pray for joy.

i want to bring peace and happiness into the lives of others…instead of displaying my past sufferings for the world every time i “open my face up and sing.” i will likely still write some sad songs (come on, it’s me), but i want to move forward instead of dwelling on the past.

so there, i said it. you probably wont hear “brave” again for a while. i’m in the throws of my magnificent summer and i intend to start bringing joy your way soon! stay tuned, and i love you all!

tumblr

April 19, 2011

i’ve started a tumblr account for an additional creative outlet! i will update it frequently, but i will still use this blog for my text-post purposes. the tumblr account will be a place to share brief thoughts, photos, videos, etc.

we could follow one another around:
kristenwright.tumblr. com

peace is well.

April 14, 2011

i am usually a pretty restless soul. i seek control in a world in which…well, i have no control. i cling to my pride. i hold onto my hurt. i fall into seasons of numbness. i am usually a mess most of the time.

i wrote “peace is well” at the start of this year. my new year’s resolution for 2011 is to let go. i found a lot of comfort in this verse:

matthew 13:44

“the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. when a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.”

i love Jesus’ parables. there is so much in this verse…and honestly, it is a little confusing. i am no theologian, nor have i attended seminary, but i read it as the peace of God’s kingdom is hidden within all of us. God has given it to us, but we have to seek it within. i think this treasure, this peace of God’s kingdom, is invaluable AND available.

so this song, is a song about letting go and seeking that peace–something i should wake up to learn every morning.

peace is well

weary wanderer, where’s your heart?
you’ve made getting by a fine art
you see your path but you travel slow
could it be the weight of your sleeping soul?
peace is waiting for you just let go

peace is well hidden in a field
we could run to it and teach it how to yield
and when we seek our harvest when our spirits fall
we will understand its beauty most of all

prodigal child feeling so alone
feeling so lost and far from home
maybe you just cannot see how the Father has been beckoning
peace is waiting for you just let go

peace is well hidden in a field
we could run to it and teach it how to yield
and when we seek our harvest when our spirits fall
we will understand its beauty most of all

peace is waiting for you just let go
peace is waiting for you just let go
peace is well
peace is well
peace is well

peace is well hidden in a field
we could run to it and teach it how to yield
and when we seek our harvest when our spirits fall
we will understand its beauty most of all

peace is waiting for you just let go
peace is waiting for you just let go

(copyright 2011)

special thanks to the band! aaron smith (piano), kevin buchanan (cajon), leslie eiler (bgvs)

the chicken or the egg.

December 29, 2010

as promised, my video project is now available online! and for now, embedded exclusively here, on my wreck account blog! thank you to all of you who have kept up with my story. some of you come to me, ashamedly admitting that you have been reading, as if it is some sort of invasion of my privacy. don’t worry, i keep a private journal. this blog is for the purpose of the public eye. it means a great deal to me that you have been reading. so thank you.

the following video is something i put together with my awesome and generous friend, justin wylie, for a scholarship application. for those of you who have been following the blog from the beginning, you will understand why this is a really big deal for me. admittedly, i am playing right-handed guitar for this song. it is a little glimpse at the past and an open view of my current situation. this is the first song i wrote on my right-handed guitar following the accident. my guitar had been in his case for a very long time prior to this song…here’s how i felt about that:

http://player.vimeo.com/video/18247919

Kristen Wright | “The Chicken & The Egg” from Justin Wylie on Vimeo.

the chicken or the egg

does it really matter
what came first?
the chicken or the egg?
i don’t care
i don’t care

what am i supposed to do with this
new kind of loneliness?
a heart cut down
in the top of her pride

when i saw him today
i thought i would cry
and all i can ask is, “God,
why, why, why?”

i’ve learned that in loss
we’ve gotta love
even when no one understands
love with all we’ve got
cause that’s what the heart demands

You smile as i admit it
“i am weak”
and i cling to the feeling of Your lips
on my cheek

I’ve learned that in loss
we’ve gotta love
and he feels familiar in my hands
i’m gonna love with all i’ve got
cause that’s what my heart demands

(copyright 2010)

happy new year everyone. here’s to more in 2011!

finally.

November 14, 2010

it was incredible playing for an audience tonight. it has been far too long and it was really good for me.

Playing left-handed at my first show since the wreck.

my performance was far from perfect, but i’m pretty sure i played in tune and i bared a little bit of my soul. that’s what matters right? and i learned so much from the performance…but really. i’m performing again. one word: bliss!

i alternated between playing left-handed and right-handed. one song is right-handed because my finger picking is much stronger coming from five fingers and honestly, playing right-handed is far more familiar and sounds better. i don’t think i’ve mentioned this yet on the blog, but i’ve been playing right-handed with a cut-capo system. it’s basically instant open tuning, which allows me to fret most chords with two fingers.

the show went really well. stay tuned for the video project! it is finished! i’m just waiting to get the finalized product online and it will be yours!! here’s a picture from tonight to tide you over.

great news.

i’m playing my first public show since the wreck this saturday, november 13th, at ugly mugs in east nashville. it’s mosaic’s writer’s in the round show. (fun fact: my first nashville show was this exact same setting back in april of 2009…and i haven’t played a show here in town since.) i couldn’t be more thrilled to share the night with artists, jenny ray and duo, handsome and gretel. so if you’re interested the show will be at 7:00 at ugly mugs.

how do i feel about my first public show since the wreck? victorious! and a little scared. haha! i will be playing all originals, and there is sure to be a little soul bearing. i love performing and it has been far too long since i’ve been able to sit behind a guitar and play my work. i suppose the most intimidating aspect about next saturday is my ability to play…but i know that audiences are forgiving and if i drop my pick or play some muted strings, the show will go on. i’ve learned that the best way to get better at playing for others is to play for others and learn from experience. see you saturday?

more big news!

after the show next weekend, i will be premiering a really exciting project online. i’m applying for a scholarship for musicians with disabilities and i needed to submit recordings of live representations of my music. soon after the show next weekend, a video will be online youtube/here/everywhere of me playing a new song. look for the big premiere post here!! stay tuned!