July 7, 2012
I’ve recently started going to a ballroom dance class. My first time I was a little nervous because of all the hand holding with complete strangers. It’s interesting seeing who notices, who doesn’t, and who needs a few double-takes. But I love dancing, so I decided not to care and just be myself.
Tonight I had the honor of meeting my new friend, Ben. Ben was in a farm machinery accident around age 5 and lost his left arm. He leads his wife around the dance floor like a pro. I introduced myself and we swapped stories. You don’t have to fill in the blanks when you’re family. You already know. So I said, “I play guitar.” Ben looked right at me and said, “You have everything you need.”
Ben kissed both of my cheeks at the end of the dance party and I will never forget him.
July 2, 2012
In November I wrote a post about the beginning of things changing for my life and the reason why you haven’t heard from me since is because my life has been a whirlwind of dreams coming true.
Two months ago today, I released my first recording project entitled “In the Year of Letting Go.” I played all of the guitar parts on this record and I am unhealthfully proud of it.
I don’t know if anyone still follows this blog — originally my wreck recovery blog, this blog currently stands as a place to document my progress with guitar and the ups and downs of it all. Fortunately, my accident no longer plagues my life, and my impairment is not the spotlight of my existence, but I intend to continue posting here — tunings I’ve found and love, techniques I’m struggling with (here’s a brand new one…slide), how much I need to practice more often…Oh my.
Anyway, the EP! I’m going to be writing it’s story here.
And if you’re still here and reading, thank you. What an amazing journey we’ve had together.
January 31, 2012
You, O God, will bring beauty from ashes.
“A traffic signal will be installed at 15th and Wedgewood this summer, and roundabouts are planned for the 15th/Acklen intersection and between the garages (North Garage, Baskin Garage, New building garage) to ease traffic flow.”
November 6, 2011
This past week has been pretty overwhelming. On the 29th I had the honor of performing two of my originals at Belmont’s Fall Follies (A comedy show very similar to SNL with featured musical guests.) I’ve dreamt of playing Follies for the past four years when I first saw the Delta Saints play the event. I auditioned last year but didn’t make it through the large sea of qualified musicians. This year I upped my game with a new song, “Quitter.”
This post isn’t really about playing Follies. And although it was an absolute dream come true, it really represents something else: the beginning. The night before Follies, I prayed to God that this would be the day I dare to hope for my musical career. I had no idea how much He would respond with that prayer.
I’ve been working on my guitar and reinventing myself as an artists like crazy lately. I don’t think I was ready before. I needed a season to be at war with the changes of the wreck and decide if this is what I really wanted. It hasn’t been easy. I’ve had the rug pulled out from under me a few times, one specific instance inspired “Quitter,” but I’ve been in a season of trying to obey God. I’m not sure how well I’ve been doing, but I know that for every inch I’m willing to give, He’s ready with miles.
“Quitter” has gone over really well with my peers. I must say, I love singing it. God is so mysterious, because I wrote the song in a lot of pride and anger over someone who hurt me, and God has taken that song and has used it to move others and draw them to Him (including me). I think people relate to recovery stories. They want to recover. They want to grow. They resonate with the truth that in the mess, there is one resounding truth, we’re all human beings created by the Savior and Creator of the universe.
I’m still learning what it means to be a forgiver, and I think the greatest lesson I have to learn is fully giving my life to God. I’ve been a bit overwhelmed by how quickly God is moving my career forward. I almost forgot. God is the Author of Time. He will give me more songs to write in His timing. He will open up the opportunities and help me meet them in His timing. And my greatest priority should not be my music but making Him Lord over my life, which is no small task for a control freak.
So stick around. Things are really moving forward, fast. And I can’t think you enough for sticking it out with me this far. Lord knows it’s been a journey. Here’s to the beginning.
September 17, 2011
there are so many things i want to tell you.
first, is that i intentionally did not want to anticipate this day with dread.
there are so many people who are chained to a day. or a season. or a feeling.
and so i had options. i could dread the anniversary of my wreck. i could put it out of my mind. or i could try to live a life of joy and come upon the day hoping not to find shackles on my heart.
i chose the latter.
so i came upon the week leading up to the anniversary without any consequence. aware of how much had changed this year and how much i remember from the past two years when fall comes. fall had always been my favorite of the seasons, and now, it is easy to let my mood change with the weather. it’s easier to occupy oneself with other thoughts when it is warm outside.
but i’ve been determined to bring about a new season with the fall, to redefine a time. and please don’t misunderstand, i’ve been doing really well. in fact, i’m very happy. i’ve been really working on my guitar, even left handed; and i’m getting so much better. i’m coming to realize how much God has in mind for me by relearning guitar. (more on this in the next post.) but God has taught me joy and i live and breathe in the challenge of it.
so i came upon the anniversary this week busy with my life. two days before i went on a walk with a good friend and we crossed the street to where the wreck took place. i’ve been back once before, but never by crossing the street. i could stand there and remember and i was fine. i’ve moved on. but yesterday was hard for a few hours.
i’m doing well today. and i am trying to understand why i was upset yesterday. it wasn’t the memories. it was remembering the journey and being on the journey.
i sometimes get overwhelmed by how much i want to do. how much i want to write, read, think, sing, dance, laugh. i want to learn, grow, work for my achievements, know people, explore new things, and love. i think one of the most important things that i’ve learned and i am still learning is to rejoice in sufferings.
how do we know joy on days like these?
if you find yourself dreading a day, i pray that you come to find joy. joy doesn’t always look like happiness, but i think the best way to describe it is trust. trust that there is something bigger than you. a God who is bigger than the moment you are in. trust requires letting go. i think it looks like acceptance. i think it feels like breathing. i think it moves in freedom. i pray for joy.
and i rejoice knowing that God knows my tomorrows.
August 17, 2011
Love Letter, Written by Kristen Wright
Live at the Listening Room in Nashville TN
March 21, 2011
A sort of new song.
August 12, 2011
occasionally wordpress gives me insight as to who is finding my blog. search engine results prove that there are some other finger amputees out there looking for a story like mine. i decided to do more digging today and found dj digs. a fellow “creativity-in-suffering” guitarist. check out his story.
June 24, 2011
i met a fellow finger-amputee today in the bakery. i handed him his cookies and he said, “hey! you’re like me.” he showed me his missing ring finger and we talked for a moment like it was the most casual thing in the world. i wish there hadn’t been a line. we only had the opportunity to exchange a few words. i wanted to talk to him for hours, as if he were my long lost uncle.
i think a lot of amputees would agree. we’re all bonded together even as strangers. loss unifies.
May 10, 2011
i passed my piano proficiency exam at belmont! I can graduate…eventually! haha! but really, i am so happy to have accomplished this. turns out, it wasn’t as hard as i thought it would be. admittedly, they did edit parts of the exam to accommodate my impairment, but i also brought more to the table than they expected. so it turned out great! everest surmounted!
so update overall: i’m doing well. i’ve played three different shows around town this semester and i’ve written some really great songs that i love to play. i’ve made it through final exams and i’m home free for the summer!
i’ve made some recent decisions about my music. i’ve played “brave” a couple of times in public recently and i’ve decided that it may be time to move on. i don’t want to dwell on the accident anymore. i don’t want my music to always take me back to that time of suffering. i love “brave” and the songs i wrote after the accident, but i think there’s a difference between cherishing them and running them into the ground (along with my soul). i still intend to write songs from my heart, but i want to start writing with joy.
i pray for joy.
i want to bring peace and happiness into the lives of others…instead of displaying my past sufferings for the world every time i “open my face up and sing.” i will likely still write some sad songs (come on, it’s me), but i want to move forward instead of dwelling on the past.
so there, i said it. you probably wont hear “brave” again for a while. i’m in the throws of my magnificent summer and i intend to start bringing joy your way soon! stay tuned, and i love you all!
April 19, 2011
i’ve started a tumblr account for an additional creative outlet! i will update it frequently, but i will still use this blog for my text-post purposes. the tumblr account will be a place to share brief thoughts, photos, videos, etc.
we could follow one another around: